Videograph Yourself

Crowns & Roses-4

~Yuri~

One evening I was at Djinns, the once upon a time happening night club at the Hyatt, New Delhi. There was a major party thrown by a page 3 type socialite. They were only allowing people with invites to get in, and anyone who mattered was invited. This is an indirect way of telling you that I matter. Just kidding !

Two hours into the evening, there was a major commotion at the entrance. Someone was unsuccessfully trying to gain entry. 15 minutes later, the gatecrashers convinced the guards and the entourage walked in. A portly woman and her husband, followed by one maid, one attendant, a personal body guard. Plus one person holding a video camera. The woman and her husband were probably invitees, you saw them on page 3 every alternate day, but the guard, the personal attendant and the camera guy ! That’s what the commotion was about.

During the rest of the evening, I realized the purpose of the entourage. The body guard was obviously there to protect his masters from the unknown dangers that lurk in page 3 parties, the video camera guy was there to record every movement of madam, and the attendant’s job was to keep reminding madam, whenever she got pre-occupied by the happenings in the party, to face the camera. I later learnt that madam used to carefully watch the videos to correct her mannerism and body language before assigning them to posterity.

This is a wonderful exercise. I am not suggesting that you do what madam did. I am suggesting that you go through this exercise in a slightly different manner. You have to enlist the help of a well-meaning friend. Ask that friend to take a few videos of you, preferably without your being aware of it. They could be at small parties, or when you are talking to someone, or when you are doing various activities like having your dinner, walking, dancing etc. Unlike madam, don’t have an attendant to remind you to look into the camera. In fact, this exercise works only if you are unaware of your video being taken, because then you will behave in a more natural manner, thereby recording how you actually communicate with the world.

The work actually starts once you have these videos. Now, sit down with a couple of friends and watch these films, often to your embarrassment. Watch them at least thrice. The first time with the sound turned off. Catch any awkward body language that you detect in yourself. Your friends, who see you often, will be able to point out any awkward facial expressions and gestures that you didn’t even realize you made. Notice your posture while standing, sitting and doing various other activities. For the second viewing, turn off the picture, only hear the way you talk or make any other sounds. Watch out for any extraneous sounds that you make, sounds like ‘uhh’ and ‘ahh’. Look out for any words that you tend to use too often. Catch any irrelevant words and fillers that repeatedly come out of your mouth, like ‘I mean’, ‘you know’, or ‘like’. Pay careful attention to words that you tend to stretch unnecessarily, like ‘annnnnnnnnd’ or ‘buuuuut’. When you analyze yourself through your videos, you will actually see yourself the way the others see you. To put it briefly, you will be amazed. For the third time, watch the videos with both, sound and visuals, and see what is the overall impact that your communication with the world has.

This exercise helps you find out more about your strengths and weaknesses, the knowledge of which is of prime importance on your way to the crown. Knowing your strengths, you will be better able to use them to your advantage. Knowing your weaknesses will be your first major step towards rectifying them. Overall, you will build a solid foundation on which you begin to build more confidence and self-esteem. This confidence and high self esteem is what will help you when you are actually in front of the judges and a screaming audience, because there, you need to forget your nervousness through having a solid belief in your own abilities. There are many uncertainties in a contest and the butterflies in the stomach play havoc with your system. Unless, of course, you know for sure that you can’t go wrong, and that you have perfected that smile.

For instance, in the question and answer rounds, most contestants cannot concentrate on the question because their mind is running away with other thoughts, primarily about their own apprehensions and lack of belief in themselves. Preparing yourself thus, gives you renewed confidence and let’s you analyze the question to the best of your ability. Once you get the question right, an appropriate answer is not too far. Your preparation will bring out the right words.

But, hold on, that’s only half the job ! A wise man once said, what you say is important, but what is more important is, how you say it.

In the next issue let’s talk about the various elements that make up your delivery. The various qualities that differentiate an impressive delivery from a delivery that falls flat on its face. The nuances that send subliminal signals from a charismatic talker to the listener’s mind that are called the Vocal quality of your communication. A quality that all great communicators have. Till next time then !

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com