Be A winner

Crowns and Roses
~Yuri~
BE A WINNER


There are no short cuts in life. For everything that you win, there is the sacrifice and pain that you have to go through. If you think Sushmita Sen or Aishwarya just got up one morning and decided to win the Miss India pageants, you couldn’t be more wrong. Well of course this is how it actually happened. Except that most people do not know what went on between that morning and the wonderful evening when they wore those crowns. The preparatory year or more that they went through to be able to realize their dream. And believe me, it didn’t just start and finish on the ramp. The ramp was just an essential part they trained themselves for. They toiled for months to groom themselves in various fields and eventually emerge winners. They learnt to speak well, increased their awareness of the world, improved their diction, modulation, mannerism. And all this with a clear goal that they both believed in. Ash was the favorite to win, ask anyone, and Sush had all the reason to believe that she could not win.

Here’s an interesting story that goes with that magical evening when Sush and Ash changed the way the country looks at beauty pageants.

Aishwarya was so amazingly good looking that most of the prospective contestants, when they heard she was competing, withdrew their names that year. It is believed that Sushmita was also one of them. But her mother, Shubra Sen, coaxed her into entering the contest. Sush comes from a fine Air Force family, went to school at the Golden Jubilee Air Force School in Delhi, and both her parents are polished and well spoken. Even then, she went through a lot of coaching in proper diction and speaking.

From being in two minds about entering the contest, she arrived at the pageant brimming with confidence, but yet the dark horse. The preliminaries happened and Ash was leading all the way. In fact, Aishwarya won all the major sub contests including the swimsuit round in which Sush was not even in the first 10.

To cut a long story short, Sushmita did not lose heart, she continued to perform as if her life depended on it. Eventually, the final 9 contestants were short listed. Of course, Sushmita was one of them. The final 5 was announced after a question answer round. Sushmita would not give up. No one knew it then but Ash was leading at that stage and Sush had caught up to a close second place. Ash was in any case the favorite to win. And then the final question was answered by the chosen 5. Here are the results. Jasmeet Kaur who is now a famous model known as Jaessae Randhawa and Shweta Menon, who you have probably seen in many Bollywood films, made the 5th and 4th position. Francesca Hart who represented India in the Miss International later that year, made the second runner up. That only left Ash and Sush…… and hear this, their scores were exactly equal…… it was a tie. For the first time in the Miss India pageant, they used a tie breaker to resolve the issue. At the end of it, Sushmita Sen scored 9.40 while Aishwarya Rai got 9.39. The difference was just 0.01, but Sush had done it ! Namrata Shirodkar put the crown on her head.

Do you see where hard work and self belief can lead you ! I told you this story just so that you stay motivated. Along with that, please realize that becoming a Miss India is not just all glamour, fame and parties. That too, but a little later. You have to groom yourself for months before the pageant so that your performance is flawless. It gets boring sometimes and at that time you have to motivate yourself by imagining all the good things that come with winning.

In the last 6 issues of Models n Trends you’ve been reading about the preparation prior to a pageant. We have recently been talking about speaking skills. In the next issue, we will continue with that and later go on to other skills. But once in a while, I’ll keep telling you about the greats in the business, because unless you are single minded and focused, I’ll have a tough job keeping you on track. Keep that effort going, winning the crown is not as difficult as you think !

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com

Vocal Qualities : Rate

Crowns & Roses

~Yuri~

Vocal Qualities : Rate

We spoke about the pitch of your voice in the last issue. Sushmita Sen has a low pitched, husky voice. Amitabh Bachchan has a great voice that is low pitched. With a lower pitch, you sound more in control of yourself. People are more comfortable listening to you and are by and large more accepting of what you say. Let’s get on with the next important vocal quality that you need to have so that you can become a better communicator and multiply your chances of winning that crown.

A majority of young people tend to speak really fast. Talking deliberately with proper enunciation is an art by itself. Talking at a pace of 125 to 150 words per minute is the right thing to do and is easy on the listener. However, any average human is capable of understanding you even if you talk at a much faster rate, even a rate of 600 words per minute, but the problem is, that the faster you speak, the shorter is the gap between your words. If the gap is too short, the tongue has a problem switching from one sound to the other. It has a particularly tough time switching between certain syllables. That is one reason why tongue twisters are hard to recite. Try saying the words ‘Mixed Biscuits’ a number of times at a rapid rate and you will know what I mean. However, a practiced tongue can handle even these tough transitions in sound quite easily. That’s how fast speaking rappers or radio jocks talk fast but are still easily understood by their audience. However, as a participant in a pageant, you are not aiming to speak like a rapper. It is important, therefore, to ensure clarity of words when you speak. Don’t let one word overlap with the other. Finish saying each word and then start the next. Say the punch words deliberately. If each word is said clearly and pronounced the way it is supposed to be, the clarity is good. Also, a slower rate of speech helps your communication to sink into the listener’s head and ensures better understanding. But careful there, a rate which is much slower than the average, is also bad. Slow talkers have what is called a lazy tongue which also detracts from your communication.

The only way to overcome a speech rate problem is practice. Start speaking slower, in fact slower than the acceptable rate to begin with. Pause after every word and say the next word only after completely stopping all sound from your mouth. Sorry about that, but you will sound a little mentally challenged initially. This exercise, though, is to get you used to giving that clean break after every word. You will have to be conscious of your rate every single moment of your talking time. Don’t worry; you won’t have to concentrate for too long. Within about 10 days of concentrating on your rate, you would have built yourself sufficient tongue skill to manage a clean change between your syllables as also gifted yourself a valuable habit….. that of breaking your sound after every word. The result is clarity in communication, and any public figure, including a Miss India or a Mr India, can’t go very far without it.

In the previous article, I spoke about the pitch of the voice. A good pitch and a smart rate of speaking are two important voice qualities. There are a few more that we shall speak of in the coming issues and then switch our discussion to body language. Your performance on the ramp and on the stage in a beauty pageant is heavily dependent on all these factors. However, I cannot possibly foresee individual speech or body language problems that you might have. Feel free to send me an email and discuss you individual problems with me. Some problems are sorted out easily and others might take a few months to overcome, so don’t waste further time, get to your computer and mail me now.

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com

In the next issue, I’ll talk about another very important quality that can change the way you sound. It’s called modulation. Till then, keep working on your pitch and rate and watch that pageant winner emerge in you. Take care.

Vocal Qualities : Pitch

Crowns & Roses

~Yuri~


What you say is important, but how you say it is even more important.

You would hardly ever see a beauty queen who cannot speak well. I first came across Amruta Patki, Miss India and Miss Earth 2006, when I was training the Miss India contestants in Mumbai. This lady was determined to iron out her speaking faults. She didn’t leave any stone unturned. Even after my training session with the contestants was over, Amruta talked to me everyday and continued to rectify little defects. Slowly but surely, she started to get more self confident. Needless to say that while I was biting my nails watching the Miss India 2006 finals on TV, Amruta called me in an excited voice to tell me that she had won (There is a half hour delay between the actual event happening and the telecast). The battle was won because Amruta accepted that she had problems with her communication and she was willing to overcome them.

Complacency is a big problem with us. Even worse is either ignorance or tendency to not accept some faults in ourselves. As young children, we learn to communicate, and then further build on our skills. However, lack of proper direction and guidance often leads to the wrong communication habits being formed, and these wrong habits consolidate over the years, leading to incorrect and unimpressive communication. Once these habits are formed, you accept them as normal. They, however, continue to irk those who you communicate with. Bringing about a change needs some work, and so, very few people try and change themselves. But if you want that crown, you have to imbibe those qualities that make good communicators sound impressive. What are those various elements that make up your delivery? The special qualities that make Sushmita Sen or Amitabh Bachchan sound good? The nuances that send positive subliminal signals from a charismatic talker to the listener’s mind? These qualities form the ‘Vocal’ element of your communication. Qualities that all great communicators must have.

The first vocal quality is the pitch or frequency of your voice. There is a certain well known cricketer who appears in a lot of TV ads, but sadly enough, he has an extremely shrill, high pitched voice. Many a mature man is handicapped similarly. You also see a lot of ladies with high pitched, babyish voice.
The fact is, a high pitched voice, whether in a man or a woman, is normally associated with an immature person, or someone who does not have total control over her/himself. Notice how your speaking pitch suddenly goes up when you are angry, or when you get very excited, in other words, not in control of yourself. A low pitched voice on the other hand, gives the impression of self confidence and hold over your life.

All voice trainers will tell you to speak from your stomach. Your speech should be originating from the diaphragm that is located between your lungs and your stomach. If you don’t have any other medical problems, it is possible to improve your pitch and voice. Strengthening your diaphragm and making use of it to speak, gives you a nice rich, sexy voice that is attractive to the listener. Here’s an effective exercise for your diaphragm.

Push your diaphragm with both hands (just below the rib cage) using your fingers and you will be able to feel it rising and collapsing when you try and cough. Having identified it, push it again with your fingers, thereby offering it some resistance and shout out the word ‘Hhutt”. Producing this sound tries to force the diaphragm out against the pressure of your fingers. This should be repeated 10 to 12 times at a stretch and done at least twice a day. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t find a change in a week or 10 days. It usually takes much longer to obtain any noticeable results.

Within about 3 months of doing this exercise regularly, you will find that it becomes easier to use your diaphragm when you speak. There will be an extra reserve of breath power that comes out with your speech, and it is this extra reserve that you will use to manipulate a whole lot of things in your voice to make it sound good. Being able to lower your pitch, is one of the benefits. Feel free to e-mail me and ask questions about how to do this exercise or any other doubts that you may have.

Using your diaphragm also has many other inherent advantages and will help you sound good when you are answering the judges during the contest and in the final Q & A round. Let’s talk about this in our subsequent issues. Till then, keep building that confidence, improve your spoken language, and get working on that diaphragm.

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com

Videograph Yourself

Crowns & Roses-4

~Yuri~

One evening I was at Djinns, the once upon a time happening night club at the Hyatt, New Delhi. There was a major party thrown by a page 3 type socialite. They were only allowing people with invites to get in, and anyone who mattered was invited. This is an indirect way of telling you that I matter. Just kidding !

Two hours into the evening, there was a major commotion at the entrance. Someone was unsuccessfully trying to gain entry. 15 minutes later, the gatecrashers convinced the guards and the entourage walked in. A portly woman and her husband, followed by one maid, one attendant, a personal body guard. Plus one person holding a video camera. The woman and her husband were probably invitees, you saw them on page 3 every alternate day, but the guard, the personal attendant and the camera guy ! That’s what the commotion was about.

During the rest of the evening, I realized the purpose of the entourage. The body guard was obviously there to protect his masters from the unknown dangers that lurk in page 3 parties, the video camera guy was there to record every movement of madam, and the attendant’s job was to keep reminding madam, whenever she got pre-occupied by the happenings in the party, to face the camera. I later learnt that madam used to carefully watch the videos to correct her mannerism and body language before assigning them to posterity.

This is a wonderful exercise. I am not suggesting that you do what madam did. I am suggesting that you go through this exercise in a slightly different manner. You have to enlist the help of a well-meaning friend. Ask that friend to take a few videos of you, preferably without your being aware of it. They could be at small parties, or when you are talking to someone, or when you are doing various activities like having your dinner, walking, dancing etc. Unlike madam, don’t have an attendant to remind you to look into the camera. In fact, this exercise works only if you are unaware of your video being taken, because then you will behave in a more natural manner, thereby recording how you actually communicate with the world.

The work actually starts once you have these videos. Now, sit down with a couple of friends and watch these films, often to your embarrassment. Watch them at least thrice. The first time with the sound turned off. Catch any awkward body language that you detect in yourself. Your friends, who see you often, will be able to point out any awkward facial expressions and gestures that you didn’t even realize you made. Notice your posture while standing, sitting and doing various other activities. For the second viewing, turn off the picture, only hear the way you talk or make any other sounds. Watch out for any extraneous sounds that you make, sounds like ‘uhh’ and ‘ahh’. Look out for any words that you tend to use too often. Catch any irrelevant words and fillers that repeatedly come out of your mouth, like ‘I mean’, ‘you know’, or ‘like’. Pay careful attention to words that you tend to stretch unnecessarily, like ‘annnnnnnnnd’ or ‘buuuuut’. When you analyze yourself through your videos, you will actually see yourself the way the others see you. To put it briefly, you will be amazed. For the third time, watch the videos with both, sound and visuals, and see what is the overall impact that your communication with the world has.

This exercise helps you find out more about your strengths and weaknesses, the knowledge of which is of prime importance on your way to the crown. Knowing your strengths, you will be better able to use them to your advantage. Knowing your weaknesses will be your first major step towards rectifying them. Overall, you will build a solid foundation on which you begin to build more confidence and self-esteem. This confidence and high self esteem is what will help you when you are actually in front of the judges and a screaming audience, because there, you need to forget your nervousness through having a solid belief in your own abilities. There are many uncertainties in a contest and the butterflies in the stomach play havoc with your system. Unless, of course, you know for sure that you can’t go wrong, and that you have perfected that smile.

For instance, in the question and answer rounds, most contestants cannot concentrate on the question because their mind is running away with other thoughts, primarily about their own apprehensions and lack of belief in themselves. Preparing yourself thus, gives you renewed confidence and let’s you analyze the question to the best of your ability. Once you get the question right, an appropriate answer is not too far. Your preparation will bring out the right words.

But, hold on, that’s only half the job ! A wise man once said, what you say is important, but what is more important is, how you say it.

In the next issue let’s talk about the various elements that make up your delivery. The various qualities that differentiate an impressive delivery from a delivery that falls flat on its face. The nuances that send subliminal signals from a charismatic talker to the listener’s mind that are called the Vocal quality of your communication. A quality that all great communicators have. Till next time then !

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com

Communication Skills

Crowns & Roses

Learn Your Communication Skills

Convincing yourself in no uncertain terms that you are capable of winning a pageant is the first step towards winning a crown. We spoke about it in the last issue. Presuming that you have done that successfully and can clearly visualize yourself holding that bunch of flowers, wearing that crown, beaming that 100 crore smile while the press is hounding you, let’s get on to the next step.

Across the world today the realization has set in that irrespective of what field you work in, the one single core skill that you must have is the ability to communicate. Great communication skills can take you anywhere, and you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that. All we humans are saleable commodities. We are constantly trying to sell ourselves to someone, to our parents, our friends, our employers, those we do business with, our partners in love, and anyone else we need something from. If that be the case, like every good product, we’ve got to have great packaging, because that tells the world what to expect from inside the box. The product is us, and the way we communicate is our packaging.

Communication does not mean just the ability to talk. That is just the verbal aspect of communication. Along with that, it is equally necessary and perhaps even more important to have what are known as non verbal skills. It is said that when two humans meet each other, they make impressions of each other in the first one minute. This first minute impression lasts for a long time. Fortunately, a bad first impression can be made better by displaying your other qualities, but that takes a long time, often a few months. And when we are talking of winning pageants, surely it is either that first impression or nothing.

Notice how most successful people and almost all major pageant winners have that ability to make that first good impression. They are capable of attracting you from the word go. Whether it is Sushmita Sen or Rahul Dev, there are certain qualities in their manner of communicating that display a certain warmth. These qualities have been carefully nurtured by them over the years and a good school, a cultured family and a conducive environment help develop these charms. If you want to become a big pageant winner or a movie star, these qualities are most important. Pay attention to Amitabh Bachchan or Aishwarya Rai talking on a TV interview, you will know what I mean. The good news is that almost everyone who lacks these skills is capable of learning them. All it needs is someone to tell you how, and your own perseverance. Ironically, a lot of contestants in pageants devote very little attention to this, although this should take up the maximum time in your preparation for the crown. You can lose weight, tone up your muscles, get your teeth straightened out or even get a nose job. All that doesn’t take much time. What takes time is learning to getting through to people, and there is no shortcut to that. You need to start now.

The first step is to understand the basics. Let’s look at the basic elements that you can improve in the way you communicate so that people get attracted when you first come face to face with them.

We’ll tackle your Verbal skills first. For whatever reason, English is the chosen language today, though it need not necessarily be. Many a Ms Universe or Ms World spoke their own national language and used the services of an interpreter. Even a Hindi speaking Ms India contestant in 2000 used an interpreter in her preliminaries and question/ answer rounds, and reached the last 5. She lost out when she broke into English in the final question. She could well have become the first non-English speaking Miss India. Incidentally, Lara Dutta, Priyanka Chopra and Diya Mirza were the winners that year. If your English is week, don’t bother about it now, muster the guts to be able to ask for an interpreter. But whatever your chosen language, build your language skills so that you can bring up the right word at the right time and express your emotion. Get someone who knows the language to draw up a list of power words that you should begin to use and make your language more attractive and expressive.

The second important skill is to be able to speak without the unnecessary fillers that most people use. While talking, if we can’t remember the right word to say, we often tend to fill that moment with some kind of a sound like ‘er’…. or ‘ah’ …… or ‘uhm’. We even have our own favorite words that we use too often to fill up these moments, words such as ‘you know’, or ‘like’, or ‘and all’. These unnecessary fillers take away from the main communication and make you sound like someone who does not have total control. The listener’s subconscious impression of you, therefore, is of someone who cannot be relied upon. Become aware of your fillers and get rid of them. You will thank yourself.

In the next issue, we shall talk about some exercises you can do to get rid of these extraneous sounds. Till then, get on the job, make up that list of attractive power words and start using them in your everyday conversation. The crown is closer than you think.

If you want to ask me anything else about the subject, contact me on yuriyuriyuri@gmail.com